What to DM After Someone Connects with You (Without Being Spammy)

5 min read By Vishesh

What to DM After Someone Connects with You (Without Being Spammy)

So someone accepted your LinkedIn request.
Nice.

Now what?

This is the moment most people mess up. They either:

  • Say nothing
  • Send a long-winded pitch
  • Drop a Calendly link like a cold sales grenade

But here’s the truth:
A new connection isn’t permission to sell. It’s permission to build.

In this post, I’ll walk you through exactly what to DM after someone connects with you—without sounding like a bot, a bro, or a spammer.


🧠 Why This DM Matters More Than You Think

This first message sets the tone.
Done right, it sparks curiosity.
Done wrong, you’re muted—or worse, reported.

Think of it like a digital handshake.
You don’t shove a slide deck into someone’s hand 3 seconds after saying hi, right?


✅ What Your First DM Should Do

  • Acknowledge the connection
  • Show you’re human
  • Reference shared context
  • Offer a next step if it makes sense—but without pressure

✍️ 3 DM Templates That Don’t Suck

🧠 Template 1: The Curiosity Ping

Hey Sam, appreciate you connecting. I saw your post on scaling founder-led sales—super aligned with what we’re building.

Curious how you’re thinking about outbound this year—always open to swapping notes.

This works because:

  • It’s casual, not needy
  • You’re not pitching
  • It opens space for a reply

🔄 Template 2: The Context Bridge

Hi Asha—thanks for accepting. I came across your profile after seeing your comment on Vishal’s async onboarding post. Sounds like we’re in similar circles.

Let me know if I can ever be helpful on the growth side—we’ve tested a few scrappy things that worked surprisingly well.

This works because:

  • It builds on public engagement
  • It offers value without pushing
  • It feels real

🚀 Template 3: The Light Value Share

Hey Diego, great to connect. I help early-stage teams write content that doesn’t sound like ChatGPT wrote it.

If you’re ever stuck on a post idea or need a second pair of eyes, happy to jam—no strings.

This works because:

  • It clearly says what you do
  • It gives something up front
  • It invites a light-touch conversation

🛑 What to Avoid

❌ The Cold Pitch

“Thanks for connecting! We help startups 10x pipeline. Want to hop on a call?”

Too soon. No trust.

❌ The Novel

A 4-paragraph bio. Nobody reads it.

❌ The Link Drop

Any message with a Calendly link in the first touch = 🚩


🔁 When to Follow Up

If they don’t reply after 3–5 days, it’s okay to nudge—but gently.

Just bumping this in case it got buried. Still down to jam if helpful. Totally cool if now’s not the time.

Persistence ≠ pressure.


💡 Pro Tips

  • Keep it under 600 characters
  • Use line breaks for skimmability
  • Sound like a human (if you wouldn’t say it IRL, don’t type it)
  • Don’t pitch—pull (spark interest so they ask you)

TL;DR — Say Hi Like a Human

You don’t need to sell in your first message.
You just need to start a conversation worth continuing.

A connection is the start of a relationship—not a transaction.


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